Pursued by God

Yesterday the valve on the main water pipe into the house burst. I went out to get the newspaper in the am and there was water all over the driveway. (Thank goodness the water was outside not inside!) I called the plumber and he couldn't come until the afternoon, so I shut the water off at the main valve and waited. I was so frustrated; I was to go to lunch and the mall with Jen and Kate and now I had to forego that fun time and sit here and wait on the plumber. I couldn't shower, do the dishes or flush - it is amazing how dependent we are on the convenience of plumbing and take it for granted until it's not there.


Life Discovery Groups started last week...and you can always count on spiritual warfare when they start up. Satan does NOT want people to know the Truth and be set free and so Satan pulls out all the stops and attacks us. Two weeks ago leading up to the start of the group, I got a terrible sore throat and cold - I haven't been sick in years...and, now, this Monday a pipe bursts - all designed by the enemy to get me flustered and upset and take my mind and energy off the work God wants to accomplish through our support groups.

So here I sat...fussing and fuming.

I had my Watchman on the Wall prayer time at 10:00 but found it impossible to concentrate and pray because I was so distracted with the plumbing issues. I just sat there trying to concentrate on the prayer requests while my mind kept wandering off to "how much is this going to cost?" and "why can't the plumber get here before 3 - how will I ever get ready in time for group tonight?" and "I wanted to be with Jen and Kate today!"

Finally I just gave up and threw up my hands and said to God..."help - I can't even pray."
As clear as a bell the Lord brought to my mind one of my praise song CDs- I came into the study, put it on and sat on the sofa...the words go like this:

Lyrics:
Lord, You seem so far away
A million miles or more it feels today
Though I haven't lost my faith
I must confess right now
That it's hard for me to pray
But I don't know what to say
And I don't know where to start
But as You give the grace
With all that's in my heart

Chorus:
I will sing I will praise
Even in my darkest hour
Through the sorrow and the pain
I will sing I will praise
Lift my hands to honor You
Because Your Word is true
I will sing

Lord it's hard for me to see
All the thoughts and plans
You have for me
But I will put my trust in You
Knowing that You died to set me free
But I don't know what to say
And I don't know where to start
But as You give grace
With all that's in my heart

Chorus

WOW! I just sat here weeping.

Again the Lord began speaking to my heart, this time directing me, clear as a bell, to Psalm 62. So I picked up my Bible and begin to read:
"My soul waits in silence for God only;
from Him is my salvation,
He only is my rock and my salvation,
My stronghold; I shall not be greatly shaken."

I began to really feel God's Presence and I moved from where He felt so far away that I couldn't even pray to a place of such an awareness of Him and His love that I began to just pray and thank Him and praise Him.

In Captivating this past week, one of our questions was: "Do you want to be romanced? In what ways?" My answer was a resounding YES!!! And I had lots of ways in my answer... I want to be pursued...to talk...to share, andof course, I like cards, letters, emails, flowers and gifts. :)

I am still amazed how God tied all this together - the work I am doing in Captivating, the healing He is doing in my heart rekindling my desire to be romanced, my frustration with the plumbing and subsequent inability to feel His presence or ability to pray...and how He brought the praise song and Scripture to my mind.

But the best thing He did yesterday am was He romanced me. He pursued me. He talked to me. He shared with me. He sent me a letter - His Word! He sent me flowers. And He sent me the most amazing gift - butterflies!

As I sat there on the sofa looking out the window, the wind began to blow and all the trees began to sway, almost as if His presence were moving thru my yard. The sunlight was amazing. The flowers were yellow and blue and pink and there were literally hundreds of butterflies all over my yard. Monarchs...swallowtails...sulphurs....They just kept coming. They're not here today. It was a special gift just for me yesterday when I desperately needed it.

And, at that moment, it all came together for me. God didn't cause the pipe to burst, but He certainly used it to work together for good. The song, the Scripture, Captivating, the butterflies...if that pipe had not burst, I would have never been sitting here, still before God, waiting on Him.

I heard Him say to my heart "I didn't want you to miss this!" And I knew He meant not just the glorious day and that amazing gift of those butterflies, but Him. He didn't want me to miss Him. He came to me. He spoke to me. He lavished gifts on me. He showed me His love and His desire for a relationship with me. He pursued me!

I love the quote in Captivating this week where Nathaniel says to Cora:
"I will find you. No matter how long it takes, no matter how far - I will find you!"

As women don't we all long for someone to say that to us? Yes, as women, we all want to be romanced and pursued - God put that desire in our hearts and it is a good thing.

How awesome that the King of Glory says the same to us - "no matter how far or how long it takes, " I will keep on pursuing you until I find you!

I have to add that last night at Life Discovery, Rob Taylor taught on Praise and Gratitude. I was again in awe at so much of what he said was a repeat of what God had shown me that am. When God wants to get a point across to us, He sometimes repeats it several times to make sure we get it.

As I think back over my experience yesterday with the Lord, I am still in awe. I loved that He pursued me. I love that He longs for relationship with me. I love that He speaks...if only I willbe still and silent and slow down long enough Him to hear Him.

I am grateful the pipe burst, for all the inconvenience and cost...otherwise yesterday I would have missed Him.