It's been years...I have decided to pick this back up and start writing again. I read a quote on Instagram today..."someone needs to hear your story..." I recently told parts of my story on my daughter's podcast. I received very positive feedback. But, it is difficult to tell and hard to revisit sometimes. I prefer to not think about it...leave it in the past...out of sight, out of mind. But, as my blog subtitle says, the past demands we leave a trace. I am going to start telling my story here on the blog and am praying it will help someone going through, or has gone through, similar situations. Fasten your seatbelts. It's not pretty. But it is my story...I lived it. I survived it. And, I learned so much about God's love and grace along the way. This verse has popped up several times this week, and when that happens, I KNOW God is trying to get my attention. Joshua 1:9 "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. DO NOT BE AFRAID. Do not be discouraged. For the Lord your God will be with you Wherever you go!" So, I am not going to be afraid...I am going to be courageous and share my story with you.

Paper Dolls

My grandchildren dressed up as homemade paperdolls...

The Help

I must be the only person who hasn't read or seen "The Help." I am getting ready to start the book today. Here is a photo from 1953 of me, age 2 and Essie. I don't have any memory of this...except when I first found this photo in a pile several years ago, I just cried and cried. I don't know why. All I know is I loved Essie. She has such a kind look on her face. I love the way she is holding my hand. I love the way I am loking up at her. I wish I knew where she was now. I would love to get to know her.

I have been trying my hand at painting and re-purposing furniture...some for my own use and some to sell. I just finished a cute little vintage bench I found at Club GW. I t was a dark walnut with a mauve striped cushion. I used Annie Sloan paints. If you haven't tried her paint yet, you MUST. It is so easy to use and so versatile. You don't need to sand or prime! First, I painted several coats of "Emperor Silk" (red)...then followed it with one coat of "Graphite"...waxed and lightly sanded. I recovered the cushion with some leftover "rooster" fabric I hand around the house. I think it looks pretty good and am taking up to my shop today.

Here is another example of a table I also found At Club GW. I painted this one using Annie Sloan "Old Ochre." I sanded it when done. I took it to the shop and it has sold.

Welcome, Baby!

Thad is here! What a sweet little boy! I pulled out an old photo of Jennifer at the same age and he looks just like her! I kept saying that he did...I don't think anyone believed me, but when we all looked at the photo, there was no denying it. There is nothing like rocking a brand new baby. I could just sit and rock him all day!
I spent 2 weeks up in Nashville helping out and had a wonderful,

tho exhausting, time. We had a couple of chances to sneak in a few fun activities...tea with Jen and Kate, Farmer's Market and The Factory with Nathan and Kate, Franklin with Jen and Pen, Library storytime with the girls...Nathan cooked us a special Valentine's Dinner and brought home designer cupcakes and roses for Jen...we all made handmade Valentines for each other which I will always treasure...it snowed twice...and the day we left for home it was in the 70's! I was able to help Jennifer take down the Christmas decorations, unpack some boxes, organize, clean house, do laundry and help with the girls...

We had our share of sickness - the girls got URI and ear infections, Thad's circumcision got infected, I got bronchitis and Nathan got sick. Only Jennifer remained germ-free! So, we had several doctor's visits.

Watercoloring, coloring, playdoughing after breakfast. Then make-up and nails. How Kate does LOVE her lipstick! She's a girly girl! I watched Jen's old home videos with Kate and then later with Jen and Nathan. It shed so much light on Kate's personality! Kate and I watched the Wizard of Oz. What a special time - I will always keep that memory close to my heart!

I got to see where Kate takes ballet...her school...and we also had a fun afternoon at the BEST TJ Maxx/Homegoods I have ever been in!

N, J and I had some very good conversations...and I will always treasure those two weeks. I learned a lot about each one of them as well as myself...it was a good visit and I look forward to many, many more.

We drove back to Jax...all 6 of us in the Volvo...it took 14 hours - what a ride!! While here Thad slept in a drawer from Jennifer's childhood dresser. Did she ever imagine, as a teen, that one day her baby would sleep in her pajama drawer?!

They were here 2 days...and when they rolled out of the drive for Tampa, I cried all afternoon. I miss them desperately. I love them so much. Can't wait to visit again...

White Christmas!

I have been dreaming of a white Christmas for 59 years. This year in Nashville, my dream finally came true! It was perfect.

It started snowing Christmas Eve and continued into the next couple of days. It was enough for Kate to make a snow angel...and a tiny snowman...for me to feel it hit my face...to hear it crunch under my feet...to see it flurrying all around me.

At first it came down wet, later it came fast and sideways, then swirling all around...sometimes, tiny flakes...other times, big, fat plops of it...It coated the trees and the roofs of the houses, the streets. It made
everything look clean and pure.

I was reminded of one of my favorite songs written by one of my favorites, Stephanie Boosahda...

"Somewhere It's Snowing:"

I once read in a poem
That when snow covers the earth
That it hides the world’s scars
And gives nature new birth

And they say when a
Man turns from sin to the Lord
That forgiveness like snow
Cover him evermore

And somewhere it’s snowing
See the soft drifting down
As snowflakes surrender
To the hardening ground

Like the good grace of Jesus
That now covers our sin
In the kingdom of heaven
It’s snowing again

And its told that the angels
Lift their hearts and rejoice
When one traveler turns homeward
On his way to the Lord

If somewhere someone’s turning
And he’s giving his all
Then God’s grace
Like the snow
Is beginning to fall

Hope and a future

What a wonderful day I had today with my dear husband. We ran errands, shopped, exchanged, tried out exercise equipment (looking to purchase an elliptical), went to church downtown, had a wonderful lunch at the European Street Grill...spent all day together and had such a sweet time.

Now he's outside grilling porkchops while the sweet potatoes bake in here.

Tom is a wonderful husband and a wonderful man. I love him so much!

Thank you God for your promise to me years ago: "I know the plans I have for you...plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." You kept your promise. When I thought my life was in ashes...you had a plan. The future you had planned for me was filled with hope and Your goodness. I love You so much, too, dear God.

Brunch with Santa

What a fun day today. John Edward, Kristin and their kids Hayden and Ella plus Madelaine, Tom and I went across the street to the club for "Brunch with Santa." It was an amazing spread...breakfast foods, carving station, chicken, veal marsala, shrimp, salads...breads...and the most incredible desserts...a trifle and raspberry cheesecake that were out of this world! Hayden and Ella visited with Santa and Kristin got some good photos.
Then we came back home and exchanged gifts. It was a cold, dreary day outside...but a happy, warm day inside these walls.
Merry Christmas!

Gone too long...

I just rediscovered my blog and it's still here! It's been almost 3 years since I last blogged...so one of my my New Year's Resolutions is to blog in 2011.

A lot has happened in the past 3 years!

I started a business in Tampa, Such Nice Things...then, I was an assistant manager at Brighton...I met a wonderful man named Tom and we got married...I moved to Jacksonville...Jennifer had Penelope, now 20 months old...is expecting a baby boy in February...they just moved to Nashville...I resurrected Such Nice Things up here in Orange Park and it is now a space in an antique mini-mall...

That is just the Reader's Digest version...so I can blog on from this point.

Life is good.

I hope anyone reading this feels the same.

Have a Very Merry and Meaningful Christmas...and a Happy, Healthy New Year.

Train Up a Child

You haven't heard from latley because I have been really busy! I have been babysitting Kate for the past week; her mom and dad will be home tomorrow night from a week at a middle school camp in TN where Nathan has been leading the worship; Kate has spent the past 8 days at Camp GiGi's. We have had fun, but I know why we have kids when we are young! I am pooped. The arthritis in my hands has flared up from lifting her in and out of the tub, hi chair and crib. But she is such a joy and a blessing. I have been reminded so many times this week about the verse that says "train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it." Her nite-nite ritual that she shares with her mom and dad and with her GiGi is to rock and sing and pray. She knows all the words to "Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus," "Great is Thy Faithfulness," "Jesus Loves Me," and others. It is so precious to hear her singing along with me. We pray and when I say "In Jesus' Name," she then says "Amen." And she always says "God bless Emma, Molly, Baby Jack, Miss Autumn, Mr. Dan, Mommie & Daddy, Mickey (Mouse), and Alex." She folds her little, tiny hands and says the grace over our meals.

My times really are in His loving Hands

I awoke this morning to a new future. And, tho, it is uncertain...and tho, the enemy wants to get me tangled up in fear over HOW I going to make it financially...I KNOW that I know...GOD IS IN CONTROL. If there is one lesson He has been trying to get across to me my entire life it is simply and only that: GOD IS IN CONTROL. I have fought Him on this for most of my life. I have moments when I am victorious in my grasp of this truth...and then, in a moment I can forget it and allow a circumstance to send me plummeting into doubt, and defeat and despair. That's why is it SO important to continually be saturating our minds with the Truth of God's Word...so when those times of fear and doubt come, we can call on what we KNOW to be true and replace that stinking thinking with God's Truth.

"It was for freedom that Christ set us free."

I wrote this in July 2005 and it was read to women in Romania by members of IBC on a mission trip there:

"In Beth Moore’s book Breaking Free she talks about hearts broken by abuse, hearts broken by death and hearts broken by betrayal. Yes, my heart has been broken - I have experienced all three – abuse, death and betrayal. But, as God has said in His Word, He has “caused them all to work together for my good.”

God blessed me with a godly line of women in my family – especially my grandmother, great-aunts, granny, mother and other ladies in our church - I call them my “women of faith,” who knew and loved the Lord, who taught me about Jesus and PRAYED for me. Because of their influence and their prayers, I was saved at five years old and grew up in the church. And, I know their continued prayers kept me all the years that have followed.

What does love look like?

When I was in counseling, my counselor had me write about "what does love look like in a marriage?" I was going through my computer files and re-reading some of my journaling and as I re-read this one, it hit me that this is what Christ's love for me looks like; as a friend told me shortly after my divorce, Jesus - HE is your Husband!

God does answer our prayers

God answers prayer! He hears us when we call out to Him. When we petition and plead, ("the effective fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth MUCH!") when we come before Him with praise and thanksgiving ("enter into His gates with thanksgiving in your heart and give Him praise,") How awesome that the God of the Universe listens when I cry out to Him.

God Speaking

This is the song! Thank you, Jan Porter! Click on title to hear it sung by Mandisa on YouTube:

God Speaking
performed by Mandisa

Only God can hold me together!

It's been a year since I blogged...I can't believe it has been that long. So much has been going on in my life in a year. I don't know where to begin. I think rather than going back and recapping, I will just start with today...and blog forward and write about this past year as it is relevant.

I have been dealing with a lot of stress lately and yesterday God gave me a song on the radio. I have been googling for a while trying to find the name of it and having no luck. But it was about what if everything I am going thru is God trying to say "I love you." I was driving down the interstate listening to this song, crying so hard I couldn't see...and when the song ended, the most incredible thing happened, definitely a God thing...I passed a billboard that said in big red letters, "Jesus loves you." Ok, is that not just like God? HOW can anyone say God does not speak to us today. Later that night, I got an email from Paige with this link : Laminin by Louie Giglio.

Good News...Sad News...

I cannot believe I haven't written for six months. I have been busy with the Baby Kate...babysitting a lot, which of course, I love.

First of all, the good news...thank you to all of you faithfully prayed for me and my surgery and the results. Went to see Dr. Levine today for a follow-up and my test results were benign! PTL!

Bad news...my half-brother Donald (72) who lived in Brunswick, GA, died July 17. I am so glad we were able to reunite in the past couple of years and spend time talking and sharing. His wife shared with me yesterday that he was saved, so I rejoice that we will see each other again one day in Heaven. I like to imagine him today, talking and laughing with Mama, Grandma and Jean - what a reunion that must be!

Also, my old friend Linda Copper died yesterday. She had suffered for so long with cancer. I was glad to hear that her son was with her when she passed. Her emails in the last year or so have been so encouraging to me - what a woman of faith she was.

What a Merry Christmas!

What a merry Christmas we had. Having precious baby Kate with us this year made it so special and blessed. What a sweet, precious little baby and she is such a good little baby. Always happy and smiling - only cranky when she is tired or hungry - just like her mama used to be. Nathan, Jen & Kate spent Christmas Eve night here...we opened some gifts Christmas Eve, then opened the rest Christmas morning.